a boy i dated like two years ago just posted a status on facebook about how much he loves his girlfriend but last night he messaged me saying he misses me and if he ever got the chance he wouldnt hesitate to try and kiss me again and i have all the screenshots of that conversation that i am fully capable of sending to his girlfriend i have this kid right by the balls and i am holding the screenshots for the ransom of 25 taco bell chalupas
i just bit my own ass and i was like surprise bitch bet you thought you saw the last of me
that surprise bitch shit can’t ever get old because it’ll you can just “suprise bitch” on the joke itself making it a never ending cycle of surprised bitches
when people think they’ve seen the last of me
I watched an entire season of American Horror Story today… How did you procrastinate today?
I wish I was thinner but I also wish that I didn’t wish I was thinner